I’d never get caught hiding behind a sofa in a gunfight. Let me tell you why:
I love action movies. The fight scenes, the explosions, and the perfectly timed one-liners are enough to keep me glued to the screen for the full 2 hours. Every minute of the movie is inching you toward a fantastic finale in which the only way to find justice is through bombs, bullets, and biceps. I’m hooked.
Picture this: Our action hero has been training every day of his life since he was 8. When his parents tragically died in a plane crash, he was sent to live in this warrior monastery nobody’s heard of on top of this mountain range. After his final test of bad-assery has been completed, he then learns the true nature of his parents death as a murder. Put in a travel the globe montage; so far, so good….
Until about 2/3 through the movie they come to a scene where the hero has chosen a sofa for cover. He’s crouched down behind the back of the sofa in his “cool crouch pose” while sofa foam flies above.
Right there…you lost me. You might as well roll the credits.
First and foremost, let’s talk about the effectiveness of a sofa as cover. It’s nice for blocking a field of view, but it’s no match for firearms. Simply put, sofas are designed for comfort, not ballistic resistance. So, unless you’re facing an opponent armed with a feather duster, that sofa won’t do much to keep you safe.
Well, I Mean...It Could Happen?
Now, if you absolutely must use furniture as cover in a gunfight, what should you choose? Well, think about items that offer better protection. Consider sturdy pieces like a solid wooden table or a heavy bookshelf. These items can provide more substantial cover and can even be used as impromptu barricades.
I know you will have a lot on your mind, but take the time to consider if the table you’ve chosen is veneered. A veneer is often used to cover over a less sturdy wood. Is the makeshift, dual-purpose, ballistic shield light or do you find it to be rather heavy?
If you find a table with a copper top, even better.
So, the next time you find yourself in a living room and a gunfight breaks out, remember this: sofas are for lounging, not for hiding from bullets. Stay safe, stay smart, and choose your cover wisely.